This was the first time I heard Him. I was not really upto it that specific day to even stand and worship with the rest of the fellow believers. I was sitting down on the pew as my 6 feet tall son stood beside me in this new church we have been attending for just a couple of weeks then. The sermon was special that day- it was about the times when God commanded and the pastor brought out the fact that sometimes God gives a command to the entire region but it was actually to fulfil the promise for one person. The epic journey of Jesus had started even before He was born. It was written in the Scriptures that Jesus would be born in Bethlehem. The law that was issued for the entire nation that required Joseph and Mary to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem just to fulfil the prophecy written ages ago. Just as I was listening, I realized that one particular year the government issued a rule that there was an incentive of 5 marks for the first graduates in the family which got me a medical seat in a very competitive scenario. It just occurred to me that instant almost 22 years later after joining medschool, standing in that church listening to that sermon, that God had me in mind when that rule was for the entire state! I just smiled. I was important to God. What career I chose was important to Him. The Bible says it was all an orchestrated planned purpose of the Creator even as I was formed in my mother’s womb. (Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart).
I could have become an engineer. In fact I qualified for an engineering seat even before I knew I qualified for medicine too. I had attended coaching classes for both engineering and medicine along with my high school friends and they all choose engineering. Seemed an easier path – just 4 years instead of a gruelling 51/2. Computer engineering was the most sought after field. But in me there was the nudge to become a doctor because I simply love helping people in pain and I wanted it to be part of the job description, you see! There was the deadline for accepting the engineering seat and I still didn’t know if I qualified for medicine at that point. My brother who went to get the local newspaper a day before the deadline came home sad saying I did not qualify looking up my registration number. Even as he was saying it, I grabbed the paper with such a confidence, I still remember, went through hundreds of registration numbers and circled mine among the selected ones. I just knew it! It HAD to be there! He had 2 digits wrong out the 6 in the registration number, when he checked. Oh my! Boys…
So I let go of the engineering seat but still wanted God to confirm that medicine was for me. It was a Sunday – Sunday means only one thing – go to church with mom in the morning and watch Doordarshan television for the Sunday evening movie even if it was on a black and white TV. Dad always went for the evening service and never bothered to call us kids, glued to the dancing heroines and romantic heroes in dim lit rooms. But that Sunday he called me to accompany him and I did not even utter a word which is surprising even to me now. Never been to two services on any Sunday ever in my life until then! As we park in the parking lot in haste, as the service had already started, I step into the church and I hear the pastor say “Welcome again!”. Under my breath I am thinking “How does he know this is my second time?” That instant I knew I was meant to be there. The whole sermon was on how you could choose a profession though difficult to not just make a living but helping fellow human beings and glorifying God with your sacrifice. It was sealed decision that day in that church where mom and dad had got married. It was that church where dad had prayed as a little boy for a sponsor for his education and he found one who did sponsor him through college and found him a good job as well. So good, that he had to quit his college a few months before graduation to take up the job. You see, He answered his prayers and stopped him just before he graduated so that I turned out to be a first graduate nearly 30 years later! Talk about planning!……..Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
If you have been reading my blogs by now you know I get carried away easily. So back to my first sentence ….I know, I know …one page is a lot of carrying away after the first sentence! But trust me this is going to be as good as it gets…….As I wearily sit in self pity with all the challenges in life while the rest of the congregation is standing and praising God, the pastor summarizing the “Commandment’ sermon I hear it loud and clear. Just near my right ear. ‘I command you to take water baptism’. All I knew was that all born again believers took water baptism as an external sign that they have accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior of their lives. They proclaim to the world that there was a Savior who was sent by His loving Father in Heaven to die for our sins so that we may be saved from eternal fire. I had never seen any water baptism but instantly I knew it was His Voice! All I knew was that I need to obey that Voice.
The night before my water baptism, I lay in bed wondering how it would be will they just push me under water and would the water be cold , would I be gasping for breath etc etc As I am writing this I wonder why I never googled it . Or You Tubed. Silly me! The smart me just couldn’t think of it then I guess because it had to be revealed by Him itself. That night this dream is still crystal clear in my head right now. I saw Jesus standing in the water. He was wearing a long white robe. Smiling He put out his left hand towards me standing on the sand and drew me into the water. That special unforgettable day as I stood in a little tub of water, the pastor put out his hand in the exact same manner and drew me into the living waters. When I submerged with all my transgressions and emerged, my old self was dead and I became a new being in Christ. There was a sense of light heartedness and peace that filled my heart that is indescribable. My son and I walked back to my white car that I had parked under a tree for shade and I noticed the entire car was covered in yellow flowers as if the heavens welcomed one more lost sheep into His kingdom. It is like a Cinderella story isn’t it? No! Actually it is my story that I am sharing in writing for the first time!
Another time I had a vision of an eagle flying in the sky not from below but at level of the plane of flying. The eyes of the eagle were very focused on something and it seemed to be flying toward it. Suddenly I notice the brown eagle turned into a golden eagle. I got up intrigued! What did this mean? In the Bible many a times God speaks to His people through dreams and visions. Of course I didn’t think He could talk to me … I mean me, huh? This time I was smart, I recall. I googled it. Eagle in the Bible in Google search and came up with this verse. Isaiah 40: 31 “But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” Soon I heard myself in a monologue with God saying “You know I googled it. I want you to tell me what YOU mean by that vision’. Days went by with similar monologues just under my breath. Usually I am not the person who remembers dreams but these are unforgettable, detailed, more real than real life! One morning I woke up in bed and as usual all the list of to do’s ran in my head. Suddenly there was a silence. The rolling to do’s screen disappeared. This time it was a whispering Voice just in front of my chest when the entire world around me and inside me stood still. It whispered Isaiah 40:31 word for word and then I started hearing the clock ticking, the to do’s running screen in my head and children outside playing. Surreal! Can’t believe isn’t it? Who would have thought that He agrees with Google search!!
Many many years later, I had just got into a new apartment I moved into for the next gen doctor in the family for convenience, close to college. It was the 8th floor of a 9 storeyed building. My first morning in this new home I look out the glass window into the quiet village far below, away from the buzzy city!
The sunrise captivated me and I wanted to capture it in my camera. Nature in all of its brilliance reminds me of God- can’t believe He spoke all this into existence. I would have thought it would need a brilliantly co-ordinated team work, the best artisans, rocket scientists, engineers (doctors? maybe), landscape artists, botanists, zoologists to create this beautiful Universe we live in. Well it was just His Voice! He spoke ‘Let there be light’ And lo and behold there was light! Voice activated…that too in the very ancient times….cool!
So again back to me capturing the sunrise, clicking my first photograph in my new scenic home. I clicked. I sensed something fluttered or moved between me and the sunrise in that split second. I check the photo I clicked and to my pleasant surpise, it was a bird in perfect pose spreading out its wings in mid-air flight! Believe me I have tried to recapture other birds for months following, standing in the same spot almost every morning against the sunrise. I just got tanned! They are just too fast than my clumsy click. Period. As I gazed at this bird, wings spread out against the golden sunrise, I remembered my golden eagle. Under my breath I told my Creator, if you really meant that verse to be the interpretation of my vision, I should hear that verse today uttered by someone. Today. That evening I had not even planned on going to my old home to clean up and then decided to go to the Jesus calls prayer tower where I usually visit when I want some quiet time with the Lord. Sometimes a different setting helps me personally to commune with Him and soak in His Presence. Last minute, I decided to go to another prayer tower, which was tangentially opposite to where I usually go. There was a young pastor and the moment I saw him I knew there was something special about him. I usually sit at the back but decided to sit in the 2nd row. It was around Christmas time and there was more people that usual I think. After the worship, he says “I was going to give a Christmas message but on my way here God told me to talk on this verse. He reads it out loud Isaiah 40:31 and I stand dumbfolded because I didn’t even remember that I had petitioned that morning to the Almighty God with a time limit of 24 hrs. Well, guess He listens too!
There have been many instances when he has clearly spoken – sometimes during my Bible read in the morning, sometimes by an email from someone, through pastors, through children of God, friends, through nature, signboards, car stickers, songs etc but I want to wind up with one more instance because it fits well with this episode. I not only went on to get a doctoral degree in medicine but got another doctoral degree – PhD. When all of my friends were training to be specialists in the field of medicine after MBBS I was pursuing a PhD to find a cause for couples having difficulty conceiving. While practicing medicine there was one woman who had nothing wrong with her or her husband and they couldn’t make a baby. I felt there should be more people doing research on this area because I couldn’t bear to see her disappointed face every month during every cycle. One day it dawned on me – What are you doing? So set out to the land called America to become a scientist. Oh boy, did it cost me to get that second doctorate – you would know if you read my other blogs. So after a decade of medicine and a decade of research, when I applied for jobs they either took the former or the latter. Hello people! We are not talking of engineering and medicine here! Literally bitter, one day I was crying out to my favorite person. Why did I pursue two doctorate degrees? They don’t even call me Dr. Dr. Mary June. Just then, there was a silence. No more running water. “I got a different title for you. It is the highest title of all”. I was waiting to hear and thinking hard what it could be because at my graduation they said PhD is the highest title of all. Silence continued for a few seconds. “It also starts with a Dr”. I am like, “What?!!!” Did you even hear me right God. I was just rambling about the two Dr.s I already had. But again I was curious as to what His Dr was. So listened patiently. “You are my daughter”, He said.
True! The highest title of all is the privilege to be called the ‘daughters’ and ‘sons’ of our loving Father in Heaven. You may not have the highest degree in the world or feel loved by your own father, mother, spouse or family but remember you have a Father who says ‘You are Precious to me! I’ve got you!’
Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.