I had a brand new car sitting in the driveway but I couldn’t drive it.  It was 10 days since I had taken my car for a drive. My license had expired and it was time to get a new one.  If you know me, I love to go out for a drive almost every day after a long day of just staring into the computer. The fresh crispy air to breathe and the cool  wind to sift through my hair is pure bliss, parallel to none!

I do have to confess this though. There was a knotty feeling inside my stomach every time I looked at the NJ driver’s license manual.  It was a small book much less in volume than any my medical or PhD course books that I have crammed.  I was not daunted by the book but I just couldn’t get myself to read it.  I just couldn’t get past a few pages for several days.  I helplessly waited until my license expired as I tried to get through this book. Finally a friend nudged me that she would offer a ride to the Motor Vehicle department the next day but on one condition –  I had to read the manual that very day.  So, after a fresh hot shower, sipping my hot cup of coffee I sat down with this little monster book.  Aaah! How I hated it.   Got to do half the book but it was like swallowing a bitter pill.  Why should I know how much the blood alcohol levels need to be to be classified as a drunken driver?  That’s for the police officer to know, isn’t it?  The STOP signs and road signals were the enjoyable part but the numbers, oh the numbers….. speed limits and how many years in imprisonment when you defied the rules were not my cup of tea! I have been driving for nearly two decades without a single ticket (Thank God and touch wood!) and I felt I was unnecessarily taxing a section of my brain that handled short term and long term memory that were in the process of disappearing for good based on the number of days you lived on the planet.

Next day came, much to my agony and I wasn’t done yet but I decided to visit the department under the pretext of just enquiring about the procedure. It was an excuse to get out of my apartment literally.  Apparently, if you have your drivers license from your home country all you had to do was the written test.  You pass it and then show your famous Indian State license and they give you a US license to drive in the beautiful state of New Jersey and all across America!  When I casually strolled up to the counter,  she entered my name on a computer and printed out something and said pointing her fingers,  “That computer.  You can take the test on that one.  Next please”.  I had not come to take the test but I stood staring at the computer deciding whether to press the START button to take the test or run away at high speed.  It dawned on me that there is no penalty for taking the test multiple times and one can keep attempting until you pass, of course, with an interval to amp up your prep.   Bravely, I clicked the Start button and with  every question I could hear myself praying to the Holy Spirit to help me click on the right answer. I don’t actually remember praying during an exam for any of the zillion exams I have taken in my life up until this point which is 40+ years. It was usually prior to the exam never ‘during’. You have to score a minimum of 80% to pass. There are a total of 50 questions. However, since it is a computer administered test, it means that once you have more than ten incorrect answers, the test stops. The test is in a multiple choice format, thank God, which means you can get an answer right if you pick the right one staring at you amongst the choices. Well! There was nothing staring at me for most questions.   My heart beat shifted higher gears every time I got a question wrong and the system announced it promptly after every question.   I had 8 questions wrong already out of 40 or so but the thought of going back to that nagging manual made be utter ardent prayers under my breath .  Two more errors and the test stops.  Heart pounding, I clicked a few more questions and suddenly there was a loud bang on the computer and I thought I hit the maximum limit of wrong answers but rather, I sighed loudly in relief  (probably everyone of my co test takers heard it !)  when it said that I passed.  I couldn’t believe my eyes. I have never been happier in my life passing a test. Really!

I walked jubilantly to the officer at the desk and showed her my Indian Tamil Nadu State license and was already imagining the wind blowing in my hair as soon as I get home by Uber, driving my own car!  She looked at a little directory and searched for India and then went over all the states page to match my license format with the format on the directory.  She said aloud Tripura, Sikkim, Andhra Pradesh, Kerala …. And I thought Tamil Nadu being next to Kerala should be next.  I could feel myself gleeing at the counter though a big queue was behind me.  Suddenly she snapped shut  the book saying “No mam I don’t find your Tamil Nadu State in the directory.  Sorry!  You need to schedule for the road driving test.  There is a long wait list. Perhaps in 6 weeks you could an appointment for a road test”. My smile vanished.  “How could that be mam…. Tamil Nadu is a big state in the South of India. All my geography and India State maps flashed in my mind in that second.   You mentioned  some very small states …You can’t miss my state even on a map”.   “Perhaps  its true mam but I just got to go by this directory”- she just handed me a slip that I passed the test and my glorious Tamil Nadu license  was back in my hands.  Glum faced, I left the building that Friday but I knew that people from my State had gotten the license after the written test in this very same DMV office.  Anyway it was almost closing hours and I had to leave.  Being the weekend, I had to wait until Monday and take a cab to the Motor Vehicle department on Monday.  Thought I should find out the truth to this mystery, or I wondered,  maybe she skipped a page or perhaps a new officer could shed more light.  Monday was no different and I got the same response from a glum officer.  I walked away from the counter and slumped into one of those row seats in an empty corner in the DMV building, my shoulders drooped down and head bent to my knees buried between interlocked hands.

Just then I remembered the sermon from the previous day.  It was different.   A new speaker had come  that Sunday and he asked everyone in the church to be handed a mustard seed.  It was weird sitting in church and staring at a small mustard seed in your open palm.  Not just me but the whole church was staring at the mustard seed on their palms. The sermon was about the verse in the Bible where Jesus says in Matthew 17:20  “Truly I tell you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you”.  The preacher  reiterated that if you believe you can move mountains.   Right then I realized , my mountain was getting the driver’s license that day.  For heaven’s sake I had a car and couldn’t go grocery shopping for even buying milk or eggs.  That was pathetic! At that very moment, I decided to put this verse to test.  Of course, I had faith. Size of mustard seed – no problem!  I ‘d like to think my faith was more than a mustard seed but for this experiment the recipe required only faith as small as one mustard seed.   Whether it can move mountains is what needed to be tested.  I sat in that chair and prayed under my breath one of the most ardent, sincere, heartfelt prayers I have ever prayed.  “Lord I need your help. I need you to move this mountain for me. You know that I believe in You and have faith.  You said if you believe you can move mountains”. 

Then I lifted my head, took a deep breath and went and stood in queue to meet the officer again. There was a sudden peace and the feverishness and restlessness I had had all day was replaced by a unwavering confidence that my God will fight the battle for me.  When I got close I realized the officer had changed at the desk.  There was big, strong guy now and he was trying to explain something to a Chinese couple and they were going back and forth even though I think he was finished dealing with them.  “Next please”, he called out, even though they were still talking to him.  I handed over my precious Tamil Nadu license and waited, still praying under my breath.  I noticed something I hadn’t noticed the previous time.  Behind this guy,  there was an office desk of someone who worked there.  It was beautifully arranged and I noticed this plaque which read  ‘Blessed are those who believe’. What are the odds?  I’m sure I did not see it the first time around or even last week when I visited.   Just reading what I had confessed out loud a few minutes ago as a prayer gave a new hope in my heart that my prayer was already answered.   I was confident that I am going to hear good news.  Just then he shook his head as he went through the directory and closed it, still talking to the Chinese couple, though I stood right in front of him at the counter.  He nonchalantly pulled out a lower drawer, drew out another battered book and flipped through the pages.  I had no idea what he was doing and wondered if he was even paying attention to my case.  The couple soon left and he said ‘Yeah I found your state in this old directory.  You can get your license mam’.  I was stunned.  Speechless.  Butterflies from my chest must have filled the entire Motor Vehicle Department building.  It worked.  God’s words are true and they never fall down!  They accomplish what they set out to do when we confess it with our mouths and believe with all of our hearts. 

Hey folks it might sound silly or perhaps you may think I got lucky,  but I know in my heart that it was not the case.  The officer was not even fully focused on my case as he was talking to the couple.  It was almost like he involuntarily opened that drawer to pull out the old directory.  How could he have even thought of an old directory when the new one was right on his desk and his mind was pre occupied with the conversation with the Chinese couple. Why didn’t the previous two officers I met on Friday and today not know about the old directory?  This was God showing up on behalf of his child who cried out for His help.  We think He is a God who is somewhere in the far heavens but He is very much a living God who dwells amongst us. And if He did it for me He would do that for you or anyone else who would just believe in Him! A tiny mustard seed of faith is all He asks to move your mountains.

I had to take a picture of me gleefully holding out my brand new license, right outside the DMV office to mark this day!  A day, when my God proved to be faithful with his Unfailing Love! That evening the drive in the lush roads of New Jersey was extra special, though I have been driving for over two decades in two different countries. We take so many things for granted and assume we have control over the course of our lives.   This experience reminded me that He is the One who drives our lives while all the time we think we got all the routes figured out. How silly!